Updating

Photo above from our trip to Carova, NC last June. Olivia had just gotten Gabby--she was about six weeks old.

I haven't had much time lately to blog or upload photos---so much going on!! Another reason is that I sent off my Canon camera, flash and all lenses for service on the 20th and it's not come back yet....and that prevents me from being able to take any new photos.

Our little business "Painters by Design" has us completely consumed too. We have our first project and we're excited and a bit overwhelmed too! We're planning to spend the next several days making sample boards demonstrating different techniques. Just very, very busy!!

Olivia and gal pals are home!!!!!!!!!!! They arrived late yesterday afternoon (Friday)!! They just had a fabulous time. And this mama is so very relieved they're home safe and sound! She has about 1000 photos! I'm going to show her how to upload the highlights or the trip and she'll blog here. So more later!!

Our New Business

Finally! Selecting a name for our business proved to be, at the least challenging, and at most impossibly difficult! I went to an online site that recommended listing adverbs and adjectives that described what you do and started with that. Talked with my aunt Dawn, friends Lisa Factor and Linda Zinger and Michelle, all for advice and suggestions. Then combining what everyone suggested, we came up with Painters by Design. Got several strikingly beautiful graphics to choose from just by doing a "paint" search in Microsoft Publisher. Jug and I, and everyone else really liked this warm, inviting, vintage door frame. Well, this is the business card for now!

We've been so very encouraged by the reaction so far to our little painting business. Folks in the know about construction tell us that it is very hard to find good painters. Seems the really good ones stay so busy that it's nearly impossible to get them and the not so good ones--poor quality work or are unreliable, are available but no one really wants to hire them! We plan to be of the best quality--of course, and are optimistic we'll be very busy!!

We're planning to make the rounds today to all the real estate, construction, and insurance companies ....that sort of thing. Will be placing ads in local papers if we feel it necessary. Just kinda thinking we may have more work than can do just by word of mouth. Pays to know people! And Jug's good reputation doesn't hurt!!

We have a new email address for the business: paintersbydesign@hughes.net and I made a blog just for the business http://www.paintersbydesign.blogspot.com/ where we'll post photos of our work and testimonials from happy customers!! Nothing's there yet...but I'll keep you posted!!

Life is just good....

We're content

We're optimistic

We've energy to spare

Everything happens how it is supposed to,

when it's supposed to!

We see what we're meant to see,

when we're meant to see it!

Yeah, life is just good!!

Fall Mountain Retreat

My friend Sandy sent me a link to the Fall Mountain Housecleaning Retreat. I'm so excited about this! It's October 2-5, 2008. Above is a photo I lifted from their site:

http://www.fallmountainretreat.com/

I love that it's for EVERYone--men, women, AA, NA, Al-Anon, just everyone. I've been to an Al-Anon women's retreat and loved it; it has it's place but having the opportunity to go off to the magnificent mountains of our beloved North Carolina WITH ALL my 12-step family is tremendously exciting! It'll be a like a huge family vacation if a bunch of us from Wilkes and Watauga all go.

For more info, please visit the site. But quickly its--

October 2-5, 2008

$240 per person (and I'm assuming that includes meals??)

Hinton Rural Life Center

2330 Hinton Center Road

Hayesville, NC 28904

Hayesville is 35 miles south of Franklin and 100 miles south of Asheville.

The retreat includes "excellent speakers, oldtimers panel, small breakout meetings, circle of love, short workshops, and 'free time'. "

"Our break out discussion meetings focus on steps 2, 3, 6, 7, 10, 11 and 12. The retreat centers on 'God as you understand Him' and our goal is to provide an environment that will allow you to enhance your conscience contact with 'God as you understand Him'."

Visit the site for all the info................ http://www.fallmountainretreat.com/

Life is Just Good....

BIG, HUGE NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love this photo of me and Jug. One of my all-time favorites. Date is somewhere between, I'd say 2000-2002, at the Finley house and it was a family gathering. It just so clearly represents how my husband makes me feel....cherished, happy, content. He makes me laugh. He makes me slow down and appreciate everything. So I upload this photo and then tell you a story.....


I think we're embarking on a new and wonderful phase of our lives. It's all about to change big time! And it feels just huge. I'll just copy and paste most of my journal entry here...just explains it all..... and delete the too personal stuff!!

Journal Entry May 24, 2008 (in part):



BIG HUGE RELIEF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m shown again how much my writing everyday, identifying and expressing my feelings is so helpful in my life…provides me with focus and the ability to then express my feelings to others! Man, it is so huge! So very, very helpful.

(deleted text)


Then we were able to really talk. And I just told him with great emotion, tears welling up, that he absolutely, I just knew it in my heart, be away working 300 days a year (explanation: Jug's contract with major home improvement company was not renewed in December and another contractor had expressed great interest in hiring Jug. He met with this fellow yesterday and learned what earning potential was and how much he'd have to work--300 days a year!! That's working away from home six weeks and home one week!!) I told him I knew it would kill him. And I do know that. He would die. I knew he could not work that hard--68 hours a week for six weeks at a stretch away from home, away from me, away from his support system and survive. Somehow, the universe has given me this knowledge and I am thankful for it. I also realized that no matter what, no matter if we lose our place, I’d rather have my husband than all the money in the world. We’d make it work. We just had to. I showed him how we could trim the budget—(deleted text) And he saw how we could get by on so much less. He saw that it was possible and together we decided on a painting business for him. I’m still going to look for part-time, temporary hygiene just until he gets busy enough to need me to help him and us do without my hygiene income—that’s what we’re hoping anyway.

I cannot properly express how very relieved we both are/were with making this decision. Jug has expressed his heart-felt relief more than a couple times since yesterday morning. Just knowing he never has to leave home again—he said he didn’t realize how much it was always weighing on him—trying not to think about it, trying to just enjoy being home, but leaving was always in the back of his mind, ever present—kinda like a dark cloud looming just off to the side and now it’s gone!! For the first time in ten years!! It’s gone!!

I know too that hearing me say to him that I choose my husband over material comforts was huge for him. Hearing me say his health and happiness were more important to me that anything….what a gift. Goes without saying that feeling that way about him is a gift too—to love someone like I do him, it’s a gift and I’m so very grateful for having this love--this lifetime!!

Our lives will change. And change is always hard. But with this internal knowledge that we have definitely made the right choice, we’ll be fine. We’ll be just fine…all is well…. My faith has returned! I just know that the business will be there and we’ll be fine. And I know that if we just take it one step at a time and not lose our focus on today, we can manage through whatever we have to! If it turns out that we can’t pay everything, if we get way behind and the house is foreclosed, we’ll be okay! We will survive. It’ll be hard as hell but we’ll have each other!! And god knows I’d so rather have him than a nice place!!

And Grant and Olivia will now have jobs! Grant can stop looking and begging folks to hire him. He’ll earn way more working for us than he’ll even need. And just think of how life-changing it can be for them to work together! Having that quality time with his daddy!! And Livvie too when she’s home.

So I had lunch with (deleted text) yesterday and got us our first job! ______ has one (or two—can’t remember) rooms that need painting!! Yay!! And _____ said to be sure and call ______—a contractor that has told her that he cannot keep good painters. Then when I went by the store and told Annie Huffman (she works for Michelle some) about it, she said the same thing about her dad, Randy Huffman (he’s a contractor too). So there ya go! Great start.

It’s just all going to be fine. I am more hopeful than I’ve ever been!

And I realize that we’re to thank the Universe for (major home improvement company) letting go of Jug!!!! We’d never been given this opportunity to see Jug’s great potential if he hadn’t been home these months and thrived like he has and given us the ability to see that!! To see that it was even possible for him to be as happy and content (even in light of our difficulties these last months) as he has been! It’s just huge. It’s life-changing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Our lives will never be the same!!!

I cherish my husband. I told him yesterday that we were like in a symbiotic relationship. We so enhance, nurture and cultivate the best in each other and that neither of us could have reached our potentials without this. And it’s so true. His love for me has fed me the necessary nutrients to grow, thrive, and blossom. And I for him. God, it’s just a beautiful thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND I AM THE LUCKIEST WOMEN IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ITS ALL GOOD

ALL IS SO VERY WELL………………

No more cookouts and gatherings, holidays without my husband! Another thing I just said yesterday: Jug you have to help me figure out how I’m going to get the tiller to the new garden space…oh, you’ll be home to do that!! No more weekends playing games with the kids without Jug!! No more lonely nights sleeping without him! OMG!!!! ---end journal entry.

So that pretty well sums it up! It really wasn't a hard decision to make--because it's the ONLY decision that could be made. It's scary--will there be enough business? But I keep in my mind that Jug can do absolutely anything to do with construction, he's very versatile, knowledgeable, so if there's not enough painting business he can do other things.

The circumstances have just occurred as they were meant to in the time frame it needed to....we saw and understood what we needed to when we were meant to..... Ain't living and learning just supposed to be this way? I love, I appreciate, the journey of living....loving....

Jug has already said this morning...."Kim, we know what's important. We know that what makes a home is who's in it, family, those we love. We can have a home anywhere. This (our home) is just a place." And when you can see like that....well, it just a huge relief. It's like we've been set free. I've known intimately others that have gone through similar difficulties and they tell me how freeing it is and how it truly demonstrates what's really important in life, in living.

Life is just good. It's just very good! And thank you listeners for listening to my ramblings.....

Young Gladys

A Tribute to My Mother:

Gladys Irene Lovette Trivette Hudson

February 8, 1929--September 16, 1990

It's been 17 years since my mom left us, and still yet, not a day goes by that I don't think of her.

So many things I wish I could ask her about. How I wish she was here. How I wish she knew my children.

Mama was a tiny thing--probably about 5'3" at most, and small-framed. Of course when I was growing up I compared myself to her physically and thought of myself as an Amazon woman!! She was so tiny, petite, and fragile, and I considered this to be so feminine. So if I was big-boned with huge man-hands and feet, then I must not be feminine! She remained small and slight all her life and developed pretty severe osteoporosis (but early onset) in her later years. I remember one birthday surprise celebration we had for her up at Olin Reeves' farmhouse in Alleghany county. In my enthusiasm, I hugged her so hard I cracked one of her ribs!

Mama used to tell me that her all-time favorite thing to do when she was a youngster was to take a blanket and a book and lay under a shady tree and spend the entire day carried away into another world. She read avidly all her life. Other interests included gardening, (especially wildflowers) needlework, cooking, oldie movies, astronomy, science, psychology. She subscribed to Psychology Today, Time and TV Guide! She never ceased to learn.

When Daddy died in 1987, Mama began to spend a lot more time watching TV to keep herself occupied. And she was no longer able to see well enough to do any needlework--at least that's what she said, she may just have no longer had the interest. But I remember so well how she'd record all the movies she was watching, especially from Turner Classics, and she'd share the cassettes with three movies each on them, with me. She'd write the title, date, actors, description, and then also give her critique. At the time (1987-1990) Jug, Olivia and I lived up on the lake and had very poor reception and could only tune in like 2 and a half channels! So I greatly appreciated Mama's movie tapes.

Do we ever not miss our parents? Probably not. Damn, I'm tearing up. Probably hormones!

Mama left us in 1990, and she was only 61 years old. She wasn't ever very robust. She smoked heavily all her life until she was finally able to quit about three years before she died, but it was way too late. She used Nicorette gum and became addicted to it!! Back then it was prescription only, and she'd have her friends and family get a prescription, and she'd buy it from them!!

She started struggling with her breathing when she was about 50--and I can date that because I remember her walking with Jug and me on our land at the lake and her having just a bit of breathlessness. And by the time she was in her mid 50's she was using a nebulizer and a portable "breathing machine" (as she called it) and toted it with her everywhere she went.

She was also hunched over with osteoporosis and was in constant pain. She used to tell me that the only position she could get relief was laying on her back in the bed, but she absolutely refused to allow herself that relief until 10 pm precisely! She said she was afraid that if she went to bed any sooner in the day she would just never get up again.

I want to never forget one of the last great memories I have of her. It was the summer before she died in September of 1990. Mel was home visiting with both her children. After we got them and Olivia asleep for the night, the three of us piled up on Mama's bed and watched Driving Miss Daisy together. I don't know--it was just a great memory and I cherish it. She loved that movie!!

As I get older, I hear a lot that I remind people of Mama. They'll say it just out of the blue, and then say it was just my body language or how I moved my arms or the turn of my head, that sort of thing. I hear it from Dawn a lot. I like that. I like it that I remind anyone of my mother. She was a difficult woman--often harsh, but regardless of that, I admired her so much! Mama suffered horribly from debilitating major depression much of her life and that probably could account for the harshness and irritability. She did find significant relief from her condition, oh, I'd like to say about a year before she died, using one of the then new anti-depressants (Prozac, I think). Mel and I both remember how much she would talk that last summer before she died. She just was a little motormouth and told us so many stories and tales! We loved it--it was a gift.

That's Mama on the right. She was the oldest of six children. That's her father Austin Henry Lovette (1905-1950) and sisters Madge (left) and Fern. The other sibs were Pug, Jap and Dawn. Mama absolutely adored her father, and she never spoke of him to us that her devotion wasn't evident. He died so young, 45, and it just devastated his family leaving a young widow and six children. Mama would have been just 21 years old when he died. Dawn, the baby would have been just five years old. Don't know how my grandmother managed.

I love these old pics of my young mother! She never seemed that playful to me growing up! She's picnicking here with her pals and that's her first husband, Earl Trivette, beside her that she's air-kissing. Don't know if this would have been before or after they got married. I don't know where they were either. It would have been before the dam was built...so not there. Maybe someone else has a guess?

This is the Hinshaw Street house in North Wilkesboro--top of 6th Street Hill. I'm not sure when my mom's family moved into this house--Dawn probably could tell me, but my grandmother lived there until she died in 1999. This is Mama, back, right and Madge beside her. Then Fern is on the front left and beside her is little Pug. Fern looks exactly like my sister Suzy did at the same age.

So she'd be about 19 years old here.

Now that's some lipstick!! A very young Gladys....maybe still in high school?

Graduation from high school. About 1947.

I know this is a terrible photograph, but it's still a favorite of mine. I just appreciate it's candidness--that it depicts her doing just an ordinary thing--fixing a meal in her tiny little kitchen with her hair in pin curls. I may be wrong, but I always have thought that this was in one of the rental houses behind my grandmother Mindy's house on Hinshaw. Before Austin died, he wisely had three small frame houses built, and they provided much needed income to Mindy. Most of the six kids started out their married lives living in one of them.

Austin, Mindy, Gladys and Madge. I'd guess about 1933??

Mama and her gal pals soak up the sun at some lake or other. That's Mama, second on the left.

Youthful Gladys cutting up.....she's on the right.

This is Mama with Jim and that's her handwriting dating it--1952.

Mama and sister Madge.

Photo of the Day--An Oldie

Dawn---hmmmm.....not sure of year. I'd guess about 1964??? Absolutely beautiful woman!!

My aunt Dawn is that person I most want to be like! She's so much fun and forever youthful. She just never ages--is always "with it", in touch with what's hip and happening!!

Dawn today--taken at the par-tay Saturday.

A treasure! My aunt Dawn probably about 1973 or so at my grandmother Mindy's house (her mother). That's husband Joe beside her and son Jody next to him. I would guess that Suzy took this?

Will be adding some more oldie but goodies as I can.....

The Evolution of a Woman

The Evolution of a Woman

I referred the other day in this blog that I would write and blog about this--"The Evolution of a Woman." It's proved to be more difficult than I thought it would be, so I've procrastinated. I think turning 50 has caused me to look back, and I've had some insights. As previously mentioned, my sixteen-year-old son, Grant, and his girlfriend, Marina, demonstrated some of that agonizing teenage angst recently and it prompted me to dig out my old journals. I was thinking--was I this down on myself at that age? I knew and remembered that I had struggled and then knowing I had reams and reams of my rambling thoughts documented in volume after volume, I actually had my thoughts, my words from that age. So I read through several years--from about age 15 to about 23 for the first time in probably twenty years. It was very difficult to read. MAN, oh man, did I struggle. Then turning 50 and seeing myself having finally evolved into the woman I so wanted to be when I was young! Reading the old journals has been cathartic. It's also been very satisfying! I feel like I've made it, finally arriving at a semblance of the woman I wanted so very much to be--happy, content, confident--well most of the time!! It ain't over yet!! The evolution continues! Still much to learn and more growth to experience!! Yay!

I scanned countless entries looking for one that I could bare to share. So very personal. It seems important to me to express this, to demonstrate the journey. The evolution from awkward, clumsy, lonely, depressed, so down-on-herself teen to middle-aged confidence and empowerment!!

Reading the old journal entries and seeing how very much I struggled with self-esteem issues and how I used drugs and alcohol to numb myself was enlightening and even shocking. You forget--or you just remember what you want to. But I had a serious problem for a few years. I'm amazed I didn't become alcoholic or drug-dependent--and I am very thankful for this. Jug says I just never crossed that invisible line they talk about "in the rooms." What actually happened was I made a conscious decision that I didn't want to be that person I was becoming anymore. When I got back to Wilkes after living in Greensboro going to school, I was determined to be something different, better. I still over-partied some but not as much. Then met Jug that fall (of '79), and we partied together, but more often than not, I would choose to just spend the weekend with my family, eating a meal, and then playing games together rather than going out to the bars where I knew I wouldn't be able to control my consumption. By the time we got married in '81, the party weekends were few and far between.

I think it's significant that I was allowed to go through this in my own way and at my own speed. I heard Bob and Sheri (107.9 The Link) talking one day about the notion of "you ain't the boss of me!" And it seemed very appropriate in describing my attitude all my life. If someone tells me I shouldn't do something, then just like a child, that's just what I'll do! Well, no one ever told me I had a drug or alcohol problem. If I'd been filled with the fear of NEVER being able to drink, my attitude might have been much different. As it was, I just picked it up or put it down as I pleased. And as I aged, picked it up less and less. I just found other things I'd rather do--be with my family enjoying my nieces and nephews, laughing and teasing with my siblings, sharing good times with my parents, etc. And I just so hated the hangovers!! Just grew up enough that I decided it just wasn't worth partying if I couldn't control it enough to not have those god-awful hangovers!

Don't know why I'm writing all this....just blah, blah, blah!! I guess because the entry I am sharing from 1976 mentions my father's alcoholism. What I wrote so clearly demonstrates the sickness of the family of alcoholics. How the focus was on him and how our happiness was dependent on how he was. Al-Anon has taught me so much! One of the first concepts a newcomer to an Al-Anon meeting will hear is that "you keep the focus on yourself and not on the struggling alcoholic." And was most affected by: "find happiness and even contentment whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not" which is part of our opening.

I was initially exposed to Al-Anon in 1979 when Daddy finally went to treatment. Mama went faithfully, and I went with her often. I never really "got it" then. I really think we both just went in an effort to "keep him sober!!" Sadly, Daddy succumbed to his addiction after three years of sobriety, and it ultimately took his life five years after that in 1987. I was exposed once again to Al-Anon in that same year when Jug acknowledged his addiction and found sobriety. And once again, I didn't get the true message of Al-Anon! Still was mostly going for Jug and not for me. We went to AA and Al-Anon meetings regularly for about three years and then let Grant's birth and family life interfere with our ability to get to meetings.

I rediscovered Al-Anon about three years ago now. I cherish my Al-Anon recovery. I never attend a meeting that I don't feel better leaving than I did arriving! And my Al-Anon family!!! What we've shared together and how we love one another unconditionally! I finally, this time around, got a sponsor and started working the steps in earnest. I participated in a 4th-step workshop a couple of years ago that was extremely important in my journey. The 4th step is: Made a fearless and searching moral inventory of ourselves." Huge. Just huge! It was in doing this work that summer that I was able to finally forgive my father, and then was able to forgive myself for so sorely mistreating him the last years of his life. When I was truly able to understand the disease concept of addiction--that my father was a good man with a bad disease and that he never meant to mistreat, neglect his family, never meant to be a bad husband, father, brother, or son. His disease affected everything in his life. Seems that doing this work and coming to see these concepts opened up a dam of new insights and possibilities for new growth. I can't recommend it enough. If you're struggling with relationships, find yourself unhappy more than happy, have addiction issues yourself---give a 12-step group a go. In the cities there are many meetings a day but around here we only have one Al-Anon and one CoDA (Co-Dependents Anonymous which is based on Melody Beatties' work) group/meeting a week to choose from. Currently, I attend them both. I won't stay on the soapbox. That's sufficient!!

So here's the journal entry from June 14, 1976. Wow--don't know if there's anything I want to say about it. Let it speak for itself. It was very hard to find one that I could even share. They are so extremely personal and very painful for me to read. But my writings from then are priceless to me--so glad I documented it, albeit inconsistently (I'd journal every day for months, then not write a line for months!)

Enjoy. And tell me what you think. Do you remember being this awkward and clumsy expressing yourself? It is interesting that I did have a glimpse then of what was to come--what I so desperately wanted for myself! And I laugh at this young Kim! So clumsy with expression and so dramatic!!

The photos show this young Kim....they came from my friend Pam's collection. There just aren't many photos of me and Mel when we were teens. Pam kindly made these available for the 50th party celebration last weekend and I made copies of them.

When Olivia sees photos of me when I was this young--about 21-22 years old, she always comments on my fat full face!! It's the plumpness of youth! I have the saddest slender face now!!! And plump belly!

Priceless!! Pam and me Homecoming 1975. We were part of the homecoming court--she was sponsored by future husband Keith Lenderman and me by cutey-patutey, ultimately broke my heart, Jeff Ray. Don't you love the hair wings? Think that was Farrah Fawcett influence!

Same time frame--1979-1980. We were dressed up for something...maybe Jug's 10 year high school reunion?? Pam and I lived together for a time just off Trogdon Street in North Wilkesboro. We were laughing the other day remembering how we'd divided up chores. I hated doing laundry and she hated doing dishes so she did the laundry for us both and I did all the dishes. We had such fun together!

Think this was at the beach probably about same time.....think we're playing Othello???

June 14, 1976
Monday

Well, summer vacation ’76 has officially begun and I haven’t yet been able to acknowledge it’s arrival. Probably, just as summers past it will breeze by without my being able to keep up with it. Before I know it September will be on me.

We go back to work tomorrow. Daddy’s hand is much better. I’m feeling a little apprehensive about it. He’s been out of work for several weeks now—how have the patients reacted to his absence? I suppose there is some feelings of neglect from them. I pray it won’t be long for us (Daddy) to be back on his feet.

Everyday I find myself feeling astonishingly thankful for Daddy. To me, he’s just absolutely remarkable. He must, he really must want to live; he does love his family; he cares.

For almost my entire life I was never exposed to the real person my father is (was). He began to drink when I was about five years old. By the time I was old enough to need him and to care if I did, he was past knowing. In these past months I’m seeing the real person he is. He really had no personality all those years. So now I’m being overwhelmed with so much of him to get to know all at once. It’s difficult to realize I really have a real father now. I haven’t all these years. He was an object projecting all the hurt my family ever felt. Now, he’s the object projecting our joys. He’s capable of making us indescribably content with our lives; our family and also of making us feel rejected, dejected, hopelessly lost. He the axis on which our lives evolve. He’s our happiness and joy, our fears, pain, and sorrows. He’s all this because of all he’s struggled through and above. He’s more than worthy of the respect and admiration I feel for him. He fought a losing battle and has now won. The prize was living.

Throughout this entry I found myself inexcusably struggling in search for the right words. I feel I only “half-ass” expressed myself. I don’t think my heart (or mind) has really been “into it” tonight with this. So, perhaps this entry shouldn’t be taken too seriously?

I’m young, I’m restless; I have only this life to live as far as I know and I want happiness,; to be content. As the courses in my life come by I’ll take them one step at a time. I have the rest of my life to just make my mistakes and learn from them then, not now. I don’t know all the answers. I have to do what feels right and if I’m wrong, I’ll learn from that mistake then. I can’t learn form mistakes I haven’t yet made. All of life and love is a venture, but you always gain. If a mistake is made, you don’t lose, you gain; you gain the knowing of what you did or thought wrong. So, even if I lose (or am wrong), I win. My mind and soul are still only growing and there’s much more to come. So, to the fullest extent I can, I’m going to live this indescribable life I have yet to live.

;
It’s astounding how different my outlook is now compared to a few months ago. I like me now a bit more than I did then. I’m going to make mistakes and be frustrated, confused, and sometimes lonely all my life. These things don’t make me the undesirable person I imagined myself to be. I for sure got my hang-ups, but I’m learning I can and am living with them.

Photo of the Day--Olivia's Grand Adventure!!!!

OLIVIA AND GALPALS GRAND ADVENTURE!!

These were from Sunday as we saw Olivia, Aly and Kristin off on their grand adventure into the west! They met Sunday early in the morning to get final demos from Jug on RV technical stuff and to pack up. While they were getting ready to shove off I sat here at the computer in my studio here in the garage uploading the photos from the party Saturday on the blog. They parked the RV right outside the garage and raised the garage door getting tools and whatnot. Their peals of laughter from inside the RV echoed throughout the backyard and smoothed my furrowed brow! I realized and acknowledged that I am apprehensive seeing them embarking on this grand adventure as we're calling it, let's be real--it is hard to just let her go off like this, but also knowing that we (Aly and Kristin's parents too) are empowering these young women! What a gift we give them! Our faith in them, our ability to know that they'll be just fine sends them the clear message that they can do anything! They are women and hear them roar!!!!

Olivia geting final instuctions. She and Jug took several tours around town this past week providing her with much needed practice driving the RV. It's a Class C and really drives like a big U-Haul truck. It's really not too bad. The most important thing is to drive slowly and anticipate stops long before you would have to in a conventional vehicle. And she does great!

I realize I haven't mentioned the purpose of this trip--Olivia is hoping to go to Naropa University in Boulder, Colorado for her masters in Art Therapy starting in the fall of 2009. I actually went to the website for the school yesterday. Very interesting!! It's Buddhist based! Very much about contemplative reflection and sounds absolutely fascinating. No wonder she is smitten with this school! It seems right and good!! So she has called and made appointments for interviews, etc and asked if she couldn't drive out instead of flying so she could see some of the country. We agreed so long as somebody went with her. So pals Kristin and Aly jumped at the chance!

We've, of course, talked with them a couple of times each day and as of last night they were near Kansas City, Missouri. They should arrive in Boulder today. I think they're planning a couple of days in Boulder and then a couple in Jackson Hole (hoping to hook up with their youth director at Saint Paul's, Trent Moore who now lives in Jackson along with our previous priest Ken Asel) and then take Yellowstone and come on home via the northern route. I swear--you've never seen three more excited young women! What an opportunity!!!

When they finally were packed up and Jug felt were sufficiently prepared we met them at the Coffee House for brunch before they embarked. Here's Jug and very excited Olivia!

Aly and Kristin laughing about the wind blowing the RV door into them.....

Aren't they just too cute?!!!

Kim's 50th Celebration

So it was supposed to be a surprise party but Jug can't keep a secret!! Even without the surprise element, it was a huge success!

I Am So Blessed!! Celebrating 50th Birthday…

OMG!! It was just fabulous! Couldn't have been better! Loved every minute of it. So touched by Jug, Olivia, Grant, and Michelle’s efforts that were above and beyond to make me feel cherished and loved!!! How hard they worked! Wow! It’s just an amazing feeling—on a natural high still yet! And then all the folks that came! So very many! Course family: Jim, Suzy, Rodney, Alan, Carrie, Jackson, Mel, John, Dawn, Lynne, Steve (Patrick and Brandon briefly came by), Pug, TA, Tommy, Bobby, Lisa’s children—Logan, Marisa and Evan, Clara, and Mildred. Friends: Michelle, Joan, Laura, Pam, Keith, Leslie, Anne, Rich, Dick, Sheree, Mike, Kathy, John, Christin, Sandy, Tony, and Kristin—so many! Fabulous celebration! But must say how much I missed Mindy, Aimee, Brian, Adam, Kara and Maddyson! Just hate they were unable to come—and Dick Sheree couldn't stay but a minute—they were all sorely missed!



And I gave a speech! And it wasn’t hard to do! Wow!!!!!! I spoke of how cherished I felt by the efforts of everyone—their hard work pulling it off, their all coming, and then about how I’d had cause recently to read my old journals and how I saw that young Kim so troubled, so insecure, so clumsy socially, so very unsure of herself, and how very much I wish I could take that young Kim’s face in my hands and tell her that it would all be okay, and show her what she would grow into! Now, I’m here to tell you that young Kim would NEVER have been able to do that! But I felt so comfortable, felt the love from everyone and knew it was okay. And I think when you really have something to say from your heart, it is just easy to say it, to express it. How wonderful it is to not be the young Kim that was so concerned about what everyone was thinking about her. Seems the older I get, the more of a what-the-hell attitude I have, and it is so liberating! I feel free!

And then Grant and Jug’s video!! OMG! It was incredibly moving. All those pictures of Kim! And the people I love. They spent so much time getting this together. Jug says it took him seven hours to take photos of the photos, and then Grant said he spent six hours taking the photos and making the video. They worked so hard! Seeing those in my life in pictures on the big TV screen—just an amazing depiction of my life journey—the journey with these people I love so much!! I’m just moved beyond words. And seeing my photos that in the albums are sometimes just photos, and I’ve seen them so many times—well, on the big screen like that I was able to see them individually, and they just had so much impact! I keep remembering particularly the photos of Olivia’s birth. Damn, but you could sure see the emotion, the charged emotional energy! Great photos.

And the “paper walls” of Kim! This was Olivia and Michelle’s little brain child! They worked hard on this too! So many goofy photos of young Kim! I have just had a good life.


Loved the after-party party too! I guess by 8:00 most everyone had begged off and gone home leaving me, Jug, Olivia, Kristin, Mel, John, Sandy, Tony, Michelle, and Joan all sitting by the campfire as the sun set, telling the best stories! It was priceless! Jug told his UFO and ghost story. Sandy told a great ghost story and so did John. We had a kumbaya moment with me sharing about reading the journals (my diary from my teen years) and seeing my denial (of his alcoholism) and why I thought it was I married Jug anyway (wrote about Friday, I believe), and it felt so safe to share that! It was all warm and gooey!! We also trekked downstairs to hear Tony (drums) and Grant (electric guitar) boogie down and must never forget my getting up on the pool table and dancing like nobody was watching and Joan and Michelle doing the same!! So much fun—the entire day!

I just can’t find enough words to describe how wonderful it all was, and how blessed, cherished, and loved I feel! I’ll be soaring high on this energy for days!!

This is my aunt Dawn, my mother's sister. She flew down from PA just for the party!! Really touched me! Thank you Dawn--I love you!

Our Miss Olivia--how very hard she worked!! She looks a bit wiped here! And I KNOW how hard she must have worked to make sure the house was in order so as to please her mama!! They would not let me do a thing! I was told I had to be out of the house all day until 1:00 and Jug and Olivia made the cake, did the decorations--blowing up countless balloons and hanging the photos of goofy Kim! And then making sure the house was in order knowing how I'd freak if my house was a wreck with all that company!! Jug even made the bed!

My brother-in-law, Suzy's husband, Rod Kerley. They live in Mooresville and Rodney manages rental property.

The men gather--from left: John Corneck, Mel's fella, Rod, Jug and Dick Sloop.

Jackson Kerley--Suzy's grandson. My great-nephew. Ain't he cute?!!

My sissy Mel.

Mischievous looking Aunt Dawn!

My sissy Suzy--and a whole lot less of her! I believe she said she's down 130 pounds! You go!

My oldest friend! Pam Winstead Lenderman--we've known each other since elementary school. Man, do we have stories to tell..... another time!!

My nephew, Alan Kerley--Suzy's son and Jackson's daddy. So glad they could come. Sorely missed his brother, Adam, and his family. Also, my nieces Aimee and Mindy. Just wasn't the same without them!

Steve Moree--my first cousin, Lynne's husband.

My aunt Pug--another of my mom's sisters.

Brother Jim.

John and Mel.

My great friend Anne Shumate. Jug and her husband, Rich, are probably related though we've never quite figured out exactly how....all the Wilkes Shumates are descended from William Shumate born 1790 that came to Wilkes from Virginia. --Done a bit a genealogy over the years. And the Virginia Shumates were originally from France, and the name was spelled de la Chaumette!! Shumate is a very common name here in Wilkes, but not so much any where else.

Rich Shumate.

My dear friend, Joan McCord. Now Joan, you gotta like this photo!! You look fabulous dar-link!!

Some of Grant's buddies playing a yard game... Not sure of their names. Irritates the hell out of Grant that I can't remember his buddies names, but it's a constant parade of boys through the house and if they don't sit down and have a couple of conversations with me, I can't keep one apart from another! You know how shy and ackward teens are...they seem to think adults are just scary!

Sisters Dawn and Pug--wonder what they're talking about??? Heehee....

Leslie Clark...me and Pam and Leslie go way back!! A cherished and dear friend!!

My Michelle. Think she'll like this photo! Just call her Wanda from Wilkesboro please. When we were at Metrolina few weeks back, this vendor greeted her as Wanda from Wilkesboro. He had dubbed her that because he couldn't remember her name. So I call her that a lot, and she returns the favor calling me Pearl!! Just two gal pals, Wanda and Pearl,--all we need is to tease up and overspray our hair!

Sissy Mel.

And Pam.

Jug, Mel, and Sandy playing croquet. And that's my very good friend Sandy Hayes from Boone.

From left: Tony Hayes, Kristin, Kathy and Mike Palmer. Mike and Jug are big buddies. Mike is actually my third cousin--my paternal grandmother was a Palmer.

Jug relaxing by the fire as the party changed gears and many went on home leaving The Faithful to sit and share by the fire...so very nice.

Tony and Sandy Hayes.

Joan and Michelle......

Let the spooky stories begin.....!! You just can't beat moments like this.....

Just a fabulous day!!